Blog originally posted on Facebook Notes 10/30/2010
Due to the ingenious invention of Netflix (and other copycat--ahem Blockbuster--rent-through-mail services), the Hollywood Video at the corner of my street closed down and has temporarily transformed into a Spirit Halloween costume store. Having a Halloween party to attend tonight, and (as of this morning) nothing to wear, I decided to head up the street to see what last-minute costume choices would still be available on the overturned racks.
I have been aware of the slut trend on Halloween for years, but I have grown quite weary of it now that the ONLY choices for female-designated costumes mean simultaneously to reveal every possible millimeter of flesh and yet remain within the realm of "clothing." The traditional slut costumes are well-known and passe these days (and please insert the term "sexy" before all of the following): cat, witch, devil, angel, nurse, bunny, bar wench, school girl, and cheerleader. What I realized this morning is that, for women, Halloween can be reduced to one single solitary concept: hookers in costume. Additionally, the manufacturers of these costumes seem to be unaware that Halloween occurs at the end of October when it can be a little chilly outside.
The Halloween costumes available to prostitutes this year (and again, please insert the word "sexy" beforehand) are as follows. This list is by no means exhaustive, but I did see all of these at the store today:
disco dancer
pirate
Indian (probably offensive in other ways, as well)
gypsy
lioness (any animal, actually, can become "sexy")
lady bug
bee (as can any insect, apparently)
geisha
firewoman
prison inmate (in the orange AND in the stripes)
greek goddess
m & m
crayon
flapper
hippie
swashbuckler
sailor
clown
policewoman
warrior princess
doctor
army soldier
baseball player (the only athlete costume I saw--apart from a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader costume that was remarkably accurate to the real thing)
Wonder Woman (of course)
Little Bo Peep
Red Riding Hood
Dorothy
Alice
Smurfette
Princess (which includes all of the Disney princesses as well)
Betty Boop
Robin Hood
Princess Leah
Freddy Kruger (didn't think it was possible did you??)
Supergirl (or "sexy" Superman--it's hard to tell)
Batman
Robin
SpongeBob Squarepants (which, more logically, should have been titled "Spongebra Miniskirt")
Ghostbuster
Three Amigos!
Olive Oyl
Mrs. Claus (or "sexy" Santa--not sure)
Minnie Mouse
Elvis
Pebbles
Mad Hatter
etc., etc., etc.
The list could go on and on--and please note that nowhere will you find a "prostitute" costume because it would simply be too redundant. I felt the need to shield the eyes of my five-month old daughter as I scanned the "adult" women's section. And I think if I were a thirteen-year-old boy, I would like nothing more than to walk among the women's costumes for a little while. The most interesting discovery was that beside the "sexy" nun costume (perhaps the most glaring paradox of all the costumes), was a traditional nun costume. The picture of the person dressed as the nun on the cover sleeve was, of course, a man. This reminded me of last year when I was in the early weeks of pregnancy--certainly not feeling "sexy," but still wanting to dress up for Halloween. I found myself among the men's costumes and finally settled on The Cat in the Hat. Although I didn't see one at the time, I hope (for the prostitutes' sake) they manufacture a "sexy" Cat in the Hat costume--to be fair.
The MOST disturbing thing about the costume store, however, is that this marketing campaign that singularly targets prostitutes has trickled down to the young girls' costume section as well. Little girls this year will be dressing as mini-versions of sexy Dorothy, sexy Cinderella, and sexy mermaids. So, please do not be too alarmed when a scantily-clad six-year-old girl hops onto your front porch in a Playboy Bunny costume squealing, "Trick or Treat!"--to be honest, it's probably the best the costume store had to offer.
Happy Halloween!
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