"Spark of Madness": On Losing Robin Williams

I don't remember the first time I saw him.  It might have been on Mork and Mindy--I was born in 1977, after all.  But I cannot remember a time when I didn't love him.  It probably started with Popeye, which, incidentally I forced Emily to watch today.  Pretty sure my viewing trajectory followed with Good Morning, Vietnam, Dead Poets Society, Awakenings, Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Nine Months, and The Birdcage, (Jumanji, while released at this time I did not see until many years later).  That takes me through high school.  And, in addition to that, I remember his involvement in Comic Relief with Whoopi Goldberg and Billy Crystal.  I'm sure he was on SNL a few times when I used to watch it live, as well.

So, on August 11th, at about 4pm, when my friend informed me that "Robin Williams is dead," I told him to "shut the f*** up."  When he lifted his iPad and showed me the news story, I said, "Get the f*** out of here.  How did he die?"  When he said, "It looks like he killed himself," I physically assaulted him.  At which time he took me in his arms and said, "It's not your fault."  I acknowledged the joke and said, "I know, I just can't believe that."  To which he responded (of course); "It's not your fault."

On the point of his suicide, I have only a serious and, perhaps, unanswerable question: Why at age 63, when you've gone through God knows how many counseling sessions and 12-step programs, would you hang yourself?  Doesn't it seem like a thing to do three decades earlier when you don't have nearly the scope and perspective of someone who has been struggling with addiction and depression his whole  life?

Meanwhile, let's resume his "dramatic" career, which if I may say, was part of his best work: Good Will Hunting, What Dreams May Come, Patch Adams (the REAL guy this movie was based on was a freak--Robin Williams turned him into a hero), Jakob the Liar (never saw), Bicentennial Man (never saw), Artificial Intelligence (never saw), One Hour Photo, Death to Smoochy, Insomnia.  I mean, seriously, at this point, none of us knew who "Robin Williams" was anymore, right?  BUT, they were good movies, nonetheless.

Then, he went on to make about 20,000 other movies you may or may not have seen.  My favorites happen to be DPS, Awakenings, Aladdin, The Birdcage, and Good Will Hunting.  The thing is, Robin Williams was exactly what you wanted him to be.  When you needed a clown, he was a clown.  When you needed a humanitarian, he was a humanitarian.  When you needed a freak, he was a freak.  He was that worst and best part of all of us, and we are all eternally grateful to him for that.

RIP Robin Williams.  We ALL loved you.