1. Desert island movie picks (if Bill Murray or Best in Show are absent, there's a problem)
2. Country is part of your music library
3. Your ability to give a toast at special gatherings
4. Whether or not you enjoy dressing up for Halloween
To this last point--you either do or you don't. There's no acceptable middle ground here. The school at which I teach just wrapped up Homecoming Week--during which time students (and teachers) dress in a preset theme each day. The teachers and students who enthusiastically dress for the occasion endear themselves to me in a way that cannot be rescinded. Those who are too afraid of what others think, too lazy, or too uncreative have a difficult time making their way back into the center of my heart.
But why do people like dressing up? I submit the following list of reasons while I sit and wait until it's time to slip into my Pink Ladies get up, paint my son's face green so he can continue to indulge his adorable Hulk obsession, and then head out to our trick-or-treating:
1. Pure Fantasy Indulging. These costumes represent the best our culture has to offer--the Superheros (take your pick!--lotta Wonder Woman out there this year), Hot Celebrities (Marilyn Monroes, Rock Stars, and Superstar Athletes), Supernatural Power (fairies, wizards), and the Power (kings, queens, princesses, etc.). These costumes say, "I have a pretty normal life, but get to break out of that one day of the year and show you what I could be made of if genetics, lineage, talent, and gravity were not holding me down."
2. Horror Tradition. These costumes represent the true spirit of Halloween: scare someone. In this camp we see ghosts, witches, mummies, vampires, zombies, psychotic killers from 70s and 80s slasher films (Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kruger, and, my personal favorite, Michael Myers), as well as a whole genre of spookified (otherwise normal) things--a vampire nun or a zombie accountant, for instance.
3. Slut It Up. I would refer you to my earlier blog on this one, but you all know what I'm talking about. For at least the last 30 years, Halloween has offered women a day to dress as a "sexy" anything and shrug their cute little shoulders, because, hey, "It's Halloween." These costumes divide into a whole nuther list of subdivisions, but to keep it simple, make the costumes tight, low cut, with short skirts and we have: the Classics (cat, devil, angel, bunny, nurse, chambermaid, schoolgirl), the inanimate (crayon, beer keg, M&M, etc.) and the Irony (nun, military, doctor, baby)--we may even have a "sexy" Hilary Clinton in this category this year, if such a thing is possible.
4. Mocking. This, my favorite category, provides the funniest and most creative costumes. When people have a social purpose to their Halloween attire, great things happen. Get ready to see A LOT of Trump jokes--mostly having to do with his toupee, no doubt. Political figures really take a blow on Halloween, and well they should. Celebrities also weather their fair share of mockery on this night. Where people really shine in this category is by unabashedly using their children:
And with that (and probably illegally posted pics--but if Google can give them to me, I can probably put them here, right?), it's time to get dressed.
Hope you all have a Happy Halloween and find it in your hearts to dress up--for one of the listed reasons above, or another of your own choosing.
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