Yeah--I'm one of those people. One who decides all of a sudden that Facebook has finally become more of a burden than a life enhancer. So, with about 45 seconds notice, I posted a note that went something like this:
Friends--it is with a heavy heart that I deactivate my FB account. I will miss tremendously your
lovely photos, enlightened shares, and witty commentary, but this site has become an
unbearable distraction and unbelievable time-suck. Signing off . . . (for now).
And then I rooted into the bowels of the security settings and deactivated the account. FB really doesn't want you to go. They give you a list of about 15 anticipated reasons why you might be closing it down, and for each they have a prefab solution that mercifully allows you to stay. I selected, "Spending too much time on the site" as my reason (which is true!) and was met with a series of suggestions about how to cut down my time on the site, but, please, for the love of God, don't leave. But I did. Some time-sucks--like my young children--are worth it. Facebook is a worthless waste of time, and a practice that removes me from engaging in the REAL life right in front of my face. And now it's time to report how the separation is going--for those of you who wonder, but have never really been willing to pull the plug.
DAY ONE:
What.the.FU*K.is.going.on.out.there? I feel absolutely UNknowing. Ignorant. The opposite of how I like feeling. Cut off. Out of the loop. There's stuff going on that I used to know that I no longer know. And it seems to matter.
DAY TWO:
Miss certain posters. Don't miss others. For every picture of a friend's cute kid/s I would want to see--I would see twenty cute kids of friends who post too often--usually to demonstrate what fantastic parents they are. It has not escaped me that I belong to this latter camp, by the way. To be honest, there are some people I'm happy to be away from. Our differences in politics or worldview were so significant, and so exhausting to ignore or be silent about.
Funny thing about deactivating from Facebook is the reaction it garners from others. A resounding "WHY?" has been the consensus. It's such a funny response considering we belong to a generation that grew up without the internet, much less social medial. Imagine if, twenty years ago, someone said to you: In the future, there's going to be a place on your computer (and a bunch of other devices that haven't been invented yet) where you will be able to post every tiny thought that comes into your head and post pictures of yourself (and anyone else you want) for all the world to see--even people whom you forgot existed because they left school in 3rd grade and moved to Texas. Additionally, you will be able to follow every thought that comes into everyone else's head and see every picture they've ever taken--and every picture anyone else had taken of them. This place on your computer might have the power to actually replace genuine interaction because it will FEEL like you are keeping up with people. But really, you're only keeping up with a construction of those people--what they want the world to see of them. And, at times, you will FEEL like you're being extremely productive--socializing (making new friends, dating, nurturing relationships with family and old friends), catching up on international news, sharing thoughts and opinions about important matters. But what it really is constitutes mere gossip and what's really being achieved is nothing.
Twenty years ago, I might have thought, 1. Thank the ever loving lord that doesn't exist NOW, and 2. Why the hell would anyone want to be involved in that?
DAY THREE:
The tremors have abated somewhat. Feel like this might be the proverbial calm before the storm. The newfound liberation is still exciting--the raw throb of meeting life face to face rather than through the computer screen is exhilarating. Dislike not feeling the instant connection to friends and family I only see on Facebook. Suppose a phone call might be in order . . .
DAY FOUR & FIVE:
Weekend days were pretty easy--due to nonstop kid distraction--except during moments when hanging out on Facebook is totally acceptable and necessary. Getting a pedicure and waiting for my kids to get adequate play time on the Macdonald's playground, for instance, were particularly trying times. Miss it. Miss checking in with certain folks. Miss the witty banter.
WEEK TWO:
Weathered my first week. There have been withdrawals to be sure--like almost hooking back in last night because I simply could not stand to be away anymore. I had things to post. My son in his Star Wars pajamas saying "I am a Jedi, like my father before me." Who doesn't want to see that? I had people to see! People I don't want to call, because, let's face it, I've never called them and it would just be weird at this point. But I reeled myself in, damn it. I exercised self control. As much as it would feel good to be back--the embarrassment of not being able to stay away was a stronger enough emotion to keep me off.
Got a text from my youngest brother today. He just noticed I was gone (8 days after deactivating my account). Validates things. Facebook doesn't need me as much as I need it.
HALF WAY THROUGH WEEK TWO:
Plugged back in. My justification for doing so was the reality that I was not one second's worth more productive during my time away than I was before. I truly MISSED people. Missed sharing with people. Missed information that I swore above I was better off without having--without sharing.
What can I say? I'm weak. I'm more of an extrovert than I like to admit to myself. I'm lonely. I'm lazy. Whatever I am--I'm back. On Facebook.
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