"Fit So Nice, He Said I Could Keep It": A Throwaway Line Bears Fruit in a Blog

Preamble disclaimer: If you do not have strong working knowledge of Rob Reiner's The Princess Bride (1987), this blog may not be for you. And, I highly recommend acquainting yourself with it as soon as humanly possible

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Today, while relaying a step-parent situation to my sister, I alluded to Cary Elwes' ridiculous character in the movie Liar, Liar.  This reference, of course, led us almost immediately into a quoting spree of The Princess Bride--landing on this sequence:

Wesley: What I wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak.

Indigo: There we cannot help you.

Fezzik: [pulling such a cloak out of his shirt] Would this work?

Indigo: Where did you get that?

Fezzik: At Miracle Max's--it fit so nice, he said I could keep it.

We laughed at the brilliance of the writing, as we always do, and were about to carry on with our day. But then, I just couldn't let it go.  Under what bizarre circumstances is Fezzik in a position to be modeling this cloak for Max that would prompt the latter to say, "Hey--that looks good on you; you should have it!" Why is he trying on clothes at Max's? Why does this tremendously huge cloak exist in the home of two diminutive spell casters?

So, can we imagine this off-script scene for a second? 

Here's one scenario:

Max is taking in the size of Fezzik.  He's never had a real giant in his place before.  He actually cannot wait to tell the guys at the Retired Wizard's Realm meeting next week about this delightful interruption to his Sunday bickering with his witch wife.  Suddenly, he remembers that ridiculous cloak Valerie's sister knitted for him three Winter Solstice Festivals ago.  What in God's name was she thinking? Anyone could see should should have stopped four bolts of fabric before she did.  In any case, there it sat, in his back closet, with no plans of being worn.  Maybe . . . 

"Fezzik, I think I might have something for you.  Would you follow me, please?"

The giant meekly complies with the request to follow Max down the narrow hallway to his back bedroom and the wizard extracts a tremendous lump of fabric from his closet.

"Please, try it on."

A little confused, but excited about Max's unwavering attention to him, Fezzik slips the cloak onto his shoulders.  Max adjusts the hood and finds, only to Fezzik's surprise, that it fits perfectly.

"I think this fits so nice, you should keep it."

And here's the scenario that makes me giggle with slightly more glee: 

Wesley is lying flat on a table at Miracle Max and Valerie's cottage. Fezzik is just wandering around the house, getting a lay of the land--maybe even snooping through closets.  Something catches his eye--a large, dark cloak with a hood--presumably fourteen sizes too big for any of the occupants of this house.  Fezzik pulls the cloak out of the closet and tries it on.  It really fits well! What he wouldn't give for a holocaust cloak like this?  As he struggles to position himself so the tiny mirror on the wall can reflect his gorgeousness in this cloak back to him, Max walks into the back bedroom.

Fezzik blushes with embarrassment. Not only is he in Max's room, he's wearing his clothes! 

"Oh, I . . . I . . ." Fezzik stutters.

"You know," Max smiles, "that fits so nice--I think you should keep it."

Fezzik beams with pride at his perfect showing, removes the cloak, carefully tucks it into his shirt for a later time, and gratefully accepts the mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich Max was coming to bring him.